Savannah: An eye for an eye makes the world blind.

At the moment I am sitting in my living room staring at Steve, who is uncharicteristically sitting next to me..purring. That's rather rare for my precious little kitty.. but it's happening now. I think it's the times in life when you stop and think about everything rationally.. that are truelly rewarding. As I sit in the dark it is utterly silent.. and I have more time to think about what I actually want. What DO I want? If someone asked me that I would merely say "Nothing." But I think I do want something, and just haven't found it yet. School starts in less than a month and I'm so excited! That's weird..isn't it? Well, I guess I'm weird then. I have a strange feeling in the the pit of my stomach.. like the feeling you get when a storm is rolling in and your standing outside. Like the butterflies you get when you have your first kiss. Like standing in front of an audience and forgetting your lines. I feel it sometimes and wonder what it really means.. what it signifies. I suppose nothing.. but it's always nice to hope.

My eyes are closed, and the wind is blowing in my hair
I see the things I refuse to face and realize my time is up
Time is fast and if you let it pass it will be forever forgoten
Forever frozen in place and forever locked away in the vault of memories
Opening my eyes I see the things that I see everyday
I took them for granted, and cannot go back
I'm learning from mistakes and replacing them with ones I've not made yet
I hear the things I want to hear, see the things I wish to see
But what if someone had said something to me
What would have have done, said, thought?
Only the present will hold the answer.

Okay, this is a few days over-due, but I completley blocked out the computer that day and then just didn't bother with it. I love mothers day, mainly because my mother gets a day off. My sister made her a card and a paper basket, but I know she was really pleased with what I bought her. I got her a huge white and black purse [Hey, she's only thirty two] then I stuffed things inside it. Such things as a bra, underwear, face washing things, a Jason Mraz CD, perfume, and a few other things I can't remember. I ended up spending 60 bucks on all that junk, but she was really pleased so I was glad that I spent an hour looking for the right stuff. My mom needed a day to herself. She watched America's Next Top Model reruns and layed around in her underwear [Which, admmitedly was a little disturbing. I love my mom and wouldn't trade her for anyone in the world.

Happy mother's day!

What is your most treasured memory and why?
Submitted by Savannah.

As you can see above, I submitted that QotD :) Dunno why, but that makes me really happy.

My most treasured memory would have to be all the memories I have with my grandfather. He lives far away from me but I practically grew up with him. We went to church every Sunday, built a fountain, deck and shed together.. and I ust loved spending time with him. He would pay me for helping him out, but I actually liked helping him.. I won both ways really. He's always joking around and giving me things that I don't deserve. There isn't anyone on the planet that I love more. He is my hero. :]

Have you ever felt so.. out of the loop that you don't even care anymore? That you just don't even feel like doing anything anymore? Well, that's the point in life I'm at right now. I go over to Jaime's house and find myself wanting to go home and read or something.. then I find myself at home and I want to get up and do something. I don't even know anymore. School is about to get out and I'm having a mini panick attack inside because I love school. I don't know what I would do without it.. I have no reason to get up in the morning without school, because I live for school. I like learning and I like spending time with friends, going into the library during my lunch break, and sleeping in fifth period. I don't know. This probably sounds so weird. Most students hate school. It's not like I'm a grade A student, I mean, I have three C's and five B's at the moment..

I don't think I'm "depressed" because.. well, I just don't. But something is wrong with me. There must be something wrong. Oh well, things always get better before they get worse right?

What's the worst part about your job?

I babysit and work at the local animal shelter. For babysitting, it would have to be older kids. They are always bugging you and wanting to play, while the little kids that can't even talk properly are off playing in the room. The best part would have to be the money. I can baysit for three hours and earn twenty bucks.. which is pretty good when I have nothing better to do on a Friday night, and all the kids are asleep :)

Now for the animal shelter. What is the worst? I would have to say when animals that are injured or have been abused come into the shelter. That kills me because I wonder, "Why would people do something like that? What were they thinking?" A few months ago we had two dalmations that had been locked in an attic and weren't fed for.. I don't even know how long.. and it was just heartbreaking to see. They were skin and bones.. but they were so lovable and they wanted to play when I saw them. I actually cried about that.. because it was so messed up. I love working with animals, but working at the animal shelter is really tough.. But I would have to say the best part is seeing the animals get homes. It's so rewarding.. because you have worked with them for a while and tried to help out their flaws and then they are adopted by some nice couple and they're wagging their tail and.. wow. Let me just say, it's very rewarding.

Right now it's around seventy degrees outside, and I hate it. I hate the warm weather.. well, I hate the cold weather to. My favorite type of weather is the humid, foggy mornings when you can barely see a thing. You look outside and you know that nothing is perfect, but in that horrible fog, there is beauty. I love the fog, and the rain. The rain reminds me that you have to get through the rough times to reach that rainbow, and guess what? You will never reach the rainbow, but it is still there.. you still hope. When I was a kid I would chase the rainbow, and as I grew up I realized that it was illogical and stupid, because it was just a hallucination. How I wish I was a litle kid again so that I could chase after that rainbow with no cares in the world. I wish I had one more chance at my life, because I feel like it is already ending. I'm dying every minute, and every second I get a little bit closer to death. I figure that I should take everything I can from this world, and help everyone around me to become the person they will one day be. If I had one more chance I would have done a lot of things diffrent, but then again.. my mistakes made me who I am today, and without them I wouldn't recognize myself.

It's Earth Day. Show us something you love about our planet.

There is nothing in life that I love more than trees, and especially drawing and taking pictures of them

They're gorgeous and they coat or lovely world with scenery and nice green.. things. Lol.

What question do you ask when you really want to get to know someone better?

"What kind of music do you like?"

That may not seem very personal or anything, but for me to really like someone they have to have the same taste in music as I do. Mean, but true. I like rock, alternative, oldies, ect.

Easter is a christian celebration of the resurrection of Christ. Google that shit. When you think of easter what exactly comes to mind? Bunnies, candy, eggs, dresses, sunday, church, bells, fish, ect. Wait, bells? Fish? Yes, bells and fish are a very important part of the French easter tradition. These flying French bells come on Easter morning in time for the celebration of Jesus' resurrection. The bells bring with them chocolate and eggs which are left in yards for the children to collect in their baskets when they wake up in the morning. Bunny or bell, which is more loveable? Honestly, what would you say to your children before easter? "Go to bed so the easter bell can come in and leave you candy!" "But mom, won't the ringing wake us up?" "Shh, just shut up and sleep."

Okay, I'm done making fun of the french and their crazy ways. Easter is actually one of my favorite holidays. It has signifigance and it's the only day my family and I go to church, well, usually go to church. For me it is a day of celebration because jesus came back from the dead on this day. Do I believe this? Yes I do. I believe in God and everything in the bible. Jesus sacrificed himself to save US from our sins. He seems like a very nice person, if he lived on the earth I think I would want to be friends with him.

What I mean to say is, have a wonderful Easter and a happy new year.

Have you ever felt so blah that you can't even show emotion? You can feel, boy oh boy can you feel it, but you can't show it. That's how I feel now. I feel like I'm the sand on the beach and the tidal waves keep crashing over me, while I just lie there and take it. I can't help but take it. What else is there to do, I'm sand for godssake. Well, metaphorically speaking of course. I believe this all started when my friend did a tarot reading about any future relashionships I would have and the cards completley ignored my question. They are related to the same thing; A serious change occuring in my life very soon. Good or bad? I don't know. Jaime said that if I don't believe it's true then it won't happen.. but I believe it. Belief seeks out of every pore in my body and I can't stop it. I find myself thinking about what this change is exactly and how badly it will impact my life. Almost all of the tarot cards said something about balance. Keeping myself balanced. I also got the card where the tower is on fire and the man is jumping out to save himself even though he will surley die from the impact [For all you taroters out there] which was the outcome and means that reality does not conform to expectation.. or something along those lines. So what.. am I going to be hoping for something and not get it? How can I NOT think about this at all times.

I tried talking to my mom about this and she said "Oh well, there are plenty of other fish in the sea!" Wth mom? "Oh, yeah, I guess your right mom, thanks a heep." That's to keep the peace. "Your welcome dear, now run along." Honestly, were you listening to our conversation at all? I honestly wish I lived anywhere but here. When I turn eighteen I'm going to Washington University so I can be away from all this ruckis.

Oh well, like my mom said.. there are plenty of fish in the sea.